When someone you care about is facing the reality of having a family member in hospice care, it can be difficult to know what to say or how to help. You might worry about saying the wrong thing or feel overwhelmed by your own emotions.
If you’re wondering what to say to someone who has family in hospice, you’re not alone.
In this blog, we’re sharing ways to support others with words, actions, and resources when a family member is facing a life-limiting illness. As hospice providers, we’re here to help you navigate this challenging time.
Understanding Hospice: Setting the Stage for Support
When you hear that a patient is entering hospice, you might be wondering what that means. There are a lot of misconceptions about hospice care. So before we start, let’s define hospice.
Hospice is a specialized form of care for people facing the final months of a serious illness. Treatments during this time are focused on comfort and quality of life, rather than curing the illness. It can vary, but in general hospice is recommended for patients with a life expectancy of six months or less.
For families, this is often an emotionally intense period. If you’re wondering what to say, remember that your compassion and presence can be more meaningful than a “perfectly crafted” phrase.
But let’s explore how you can offer genuine support.
What to Say to Someone Who Has Family in Hospice (and What Not to Say)
Whatever you say, start with empathy. When you’re comforting someone with a loved one in hospice, words like these can offer support:
- “I’m here for you.”
- “I can only imagine how hard this must be.”
- “If you want to talk, I’m here to listen.”
- “You and your family are in my thoughts.”
It’s important to acknowledge the situation without presuming to know exactly how someone else feels. The goal is to let them know you care and are available.
Phrases to Avoid
It’s also important to know what not to say. Steer clear of phrases such as:
- “I know exactly how you feel.”
- “You’re lucky you’ve had them this long.”
- “At least they lived a long life.”
- “Be strong.”
Comments like these are often well-intentioned, but can feel dismissive or minimizing.
Instead:
- Use open-ended phrases.
- Avoid clichés or anything that minimizes their experience.
- Be comfortable with silence.
But remember, it’s okay not to have all the answers. Sometimes, silence and a comforting presence are enough.
The Power of Listening and Being Present
One of the most supportive things you can do is simply be there. When you’re unsure of what to say to someone who has family in hospice, remember that your willingness to listen can be the greatest gift.
Why Listening Matters
Grief and stress can be isolating. By listening without judgment or interruption, you help your friend feel less alone. Sometimes, people just need space to express their emotions.
As you’re listening:
- Make eye contact and give your full attention.
- Resist the urge to offer solutions unless asked.
- Acknowledge their feelings (“That sounds incredibly tough”).
Being Present in Practical Ways
Being present isn’t always about conversations. Sometimes, sitting together in silence or a hand on the shoulder can be just as supportive.
Your presence with a grieving person is powerful.
- Offer to sit together, even in silence.
- Let them guide the conversation.
- Respect their need for space or quiet.
A hospice care team includes caring volunteers, home health aides, medical professionals, and a spiritual care coordinator to support patients and their loved ones with words, actions, and being present.
What to Say to Someone Who Has Family in Hospice? Specific Offers Make a Difference
Words are powerful, but (when possible) it’s important to pair them with practical help. From picking up groceries and medicines to feeding pets or cleaning house, there are real needs that you might be able to meet. But in the fog of grief, caregiving stress, and busyness, families might not even know what to ask for.
Instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” try offering something specific. This takes the burden off your friend to come up with requests.
For instance, you might ask:
- “Can I pick up groceries for you this week?”
- “Would it help if I took care of your pets for a few days?”
- “I’m available to drive you to appointments if you need.”
These tangible offers show that you’re focused on their needs and are ready to step in.
Here are some ways you can provide support:
- Offer specific help, not generalities.
- Follow through on your offers.
- Respect their decisions if they decline.
If you’re wondering what to say to someone who has family in hospice, remember that actions can speak just as loud as words.
A Note for the Loved One Navigating This Journey
Perhaps you’re reading this as a person who needs support because your loved one is facing hospice. Maybe you’re looking for a resource to share in the hope that your friends will understand. We see you.
As a loved one of a hospice patient, you’re also bearing the weight of this journey and trying to be strong for everyone. Caregiving stress is real! Many caregivers feel drained, overwhelmed, or even helpless at times.
While the support of friends and family is invaluable, it often can’t lift the medical and logistical burden that is causing you sleepless nights.
Please know that you deserve support as well.
And as a caregiver, we’re here for you. Our entire purpose at Envision Hospice is to lift the burden from your shoulders so you can focus on loving, not just logistics.
How a Hospice Team Offers Support
Navigating hospice care isn’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone. Here at Envision Hospice, we’re dedicated to supporting patients and their families through every stage of the journey. Whether you’re wondering what to say to someone who has family in hospice or you need resources for your own family, Envision offers compassionate care, guidance, and support.
Envision Hospice Services Include:
- Expert pain and symptom management
- Emotional and spiritual support for patients and families
- Guidance for caregivers and friends
- Resources for bereavement and grief
If you’d like to learn more about how Envision can help, don’t hesitate to reach out. We’re here for you, every step of the way.
Even When You Aren’t Sure What to Say, You Can Still Make a Difference
Supporting a friend or loved one with family in hospice is a powerful act of kindness. It can be hard to know exactly what to say to someone who has family in hospice, but your empathy, willingness to listen, and practical offers of help can make a real difference. If you or someone you know has questions or needs support during hospice care, Envision Hospice is here to help. Together, we can walk this journey with dignity, kindness, and care. No matter where you are in the process, you’re not alone. When you’re ready, give us a call at Envision Hospice. We’re here to help you get the answers and support you need.e’re here to help you get the answers and support you need.